Pet Diaries

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Pet Diaries

Yay! I love you!

I love the smell of your breath in the morning!

I love the sound you make walking on the squeaky stairs!

Squeaky! Yay! I love my squeaky!

I love that you’re pouring kibble in my bowl!

Yummy!

I love the chew marks on my bowl!

I love my rawhide that’s broken in half

and the fresh one on top of the washer

where I can stare at it

all day long!

I love the taste of toilet bowl water

Because it almost tastes like you!

Love, love, LOVE!!!

the dog

!

Dear Sirs:

I am sorry to say my orders have not been followed.

Perhaps I was not clear that from the hours of 11-3 p.m., I am to be left

Undisturbed. I will permit some level of frolic only outside those hours.

Another matter: you can imagine my horror when, on Tuesday last, upon leaping

Up to the living room windowsill, which, as you are no doubt aware,

Is my spot, I was confronted by a horrid collection of those plastic things

The smallish one calls Lego’s. It made my nap extraordinarily uncomfortable.

I’m sure this will be addressed in the future,

As will the unappetizing temperature of my dish.

Oh, one more thing.

Could you please do something about that obnoxious canine?

He was drinking out of the toilet again.

From her Majesty,

The Cat

The Dragon Inside

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The Dragon Inside

The dragon in my closet

left a black mark on my shoe.

She tore my jeans—and flip-flops

are her favorite thing to chew!

The dragon in the kitchen

always burns my whole wheat toast.

He scorched the trash compactor

but he makes a good pot roast.

The dragon in the parking lot

roars at all the buses

while they unload all the kiddies,

and he blazes, growls and cusses.

The dragon playing dodgeball

blows her short fuse every time.

One dragon burned my homework,

and the teacher thought that I’m

the one who's doing all the damage.

The secret though, you see,

is these dragons all got nothing

on the dragon inside me.

-Sarah Allen

REPRESENTED BY BRIANNE JOHNSON AT WRITERS HOUSE!!!!

Guys.

Guys.

I have been waiting years to make this announcement.

I sent my first agent query in 2012. It was for my first book which was rejected very justly for a multitude of reasons mostly being that it sucked. I still have a special place in my heart for that book.

Four books and hundreds of rejections later, I can finally announce.

I AM OFFICIALLY REPRESENTED BY BRIANNE JOHNSON AT WRITERS HOUSE!!!

It's been a few weeks now, and we've actually been on sub to editors for a month. I can't even believe I get to say that.

I'll do a longer, more in depth post about how it all went down at another time, I think. For now, its just celebration time!!

If you have agent questions or just need query trench commiseration feel free to comment and I'll be there for you!

Sarah

Star-Nosed Mole

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Star-Nosed Mole

Pig-snouted, fleshy-finger-feeler rimmed

star nose sniffer, using star-touch to push, tell, taste.

Do stars shine underground

if nobody can see?

Dig, dig, dig through the earth to a star

nosed center. Who knows of what earth-stars

smell, touch, taste?

She knows, the mole. She who has

sniffed the star-centered earth.

Star-dusted dust, dirt, grime.

Do you dare hold close the starry-faced

blind-eyed ground digger?

Do you dare draw near?

Come carefully, for the star-nosed

knows what stars dwell

under the surface of you.

Blurgsday

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Blurgsday

Sunday’s when we go to church

and say our prayers and scripture search.

Monday we go back to school

to make our brain a power tool.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday: work

like bankers, teachers, moms and clerks.

Friday night is party time

unless you’d rather have downtime

snug with a book, then Saturday

we whip through chores so we can play.

Then comes the best day of them all!

Blurgsday, when ideas call!

On Blurgsday ride a purple horse

or take a Bigfoot finding course.

On Blurgsday you can paint with mud

or dance upon a flower bud,

sing too loud or scrape your knees.

You get to be whate'er you please.

Wait, hold on, what’s that you say?

You say there’s no such Blurgsday day?

Can I still wear my Blurgsday best

and welcome some dear Blurgsday guest?

Would you eat some Blurgsday cake

to celebrate that we’re awake?

If you check your calendar

you’ll see it’s best if you plan for

a Blurgsday minute, so to speak,

every single day next week.

-Sarah Allen