Top 7 Mistakes That Make Your Writing Look Unprofessional

Writing is subjective enough.

So many important decisions that influence our careers depend on if an assistant got the right coffee that morning, or the timing of editors moving from one house to another, or a magazine editors daughter laughing at your story, or a myriad of other subjective things all out of our control. In many ways we writers are constantly subject to the whims of peoples moods and tastes. An editor or agent looking for say, historical romance, still needs to like our historical romance.

So what can we poor writers do when so much is out of our control? I think one aspect of dealing with that is acknowledging that in many ways this is an endurance game, and that those who stick with it will succeed in the end. However, the other aspect of all this is focusing on the elements we can control.

That means our writing.

When we submit to an agent or editor or anyone for that matter, we may not be able to control what kind of day they're having, or whether they prefer werewolves to vampires, but we can make our submission as clean as possible. We can stand out from many other submissions by sending prose that is polished to a shine and absolutely professional.

And we do that by avoiding several key mistakes that will make our writing look amateurish. Keeping these errors out of our writing can help us convince those agents and editors that we are serious writers, regardless what side of the bed they woke up on that morning.

1. Getting creative with the dialog tags. I'm pretty sure this isn't new to anybody, but it's definitely one of the biggest red flags. I know that as a reader I get a little eye-rolly when people are "bellowing loudly" and "exclaiming vehemently" and "vowing solemnly." Stick with said. Maybe sprinkled with the occasional asked. And if you really, really want to mix it up, maybe use a whisper. But the basic rule of thumb: just plain said.

2. Using exclamation points. In regular prose, the basic rule of thumb is "No Exclamation Points." Just no. Occasionally...strong emphasis on occasionally...they can be useful within dialog. Outside of that, they tend to read as a bit comic kampy. Bang! Womp! Pow! If you're feeling the need to use exclamation points for emphasis, there's a good chance that's a symptom of week prose that might not be bearing the emphasis on its own. Don't get me started on interrobangs...

3. Overuse of adverbs. Before you roll your eyes at yet another someone telling you to avoid adverbs at all costs, just hear me out. I'm not one of those who think of adverbs as pure poison, the smallest dose of which can kill a pet project in its infancy. No, I think every word has its use. Including adverbs. The issue is when you get attached. People often say to avoid too many adverbs because they are too strong, but I think it's just the opposite. Some writers tend to rely on adverbs to show the scene, when really they are some of the weakest descriptors of all, unless used carefully. It's like with exclamation points--mixing it up can lead to stronger writing.

4. Other Grammar Mistakes: There are a lot of options of mis-step here, but I'll just point you to a wonderful blog that can give you a crash course in good grammar and usage: The Story Polisher.

5. Sentence length never varies. Words and sentences have rhythm. Like singing a line of song. Readers get into a set pace. That pace gets old very fast. But if you're conscious of that rhythm, you can take advantage by changing it up. Write short sentences. Then write sentences that wander, that meander, that add to your prose a little bit of syncopation. The change in pace will move your reader forward and keep them interested. That's how you look professional.

6. Switching point-of-view. Otherwise known as head hopping. This can make things very confusing for your reader, and make your writing appear unprofessional. This is when you're in a scene with your point of view character, let's call her Betty, and your secondary character, Martha. If we're in this scene and suddenly we get:

"These croissants are delicious," Martha lied. She knew Betty couldn't cook to save her life.

then suddenly we're in Martha's head, seeing what she thinks. We've hopped from Betty's head to Martha's. Switched point-of-view. An automatic red-flag of unprofessionalism.

7. Using cliche phrases. There's not much to say about this one. And no quicker way, really, to know all the phrases to avoid than just by doing lots and lots of reading. A good rule of thumb is to avoid any phrase you remember hearing before. Saying a character is "cold as ice" doesn't really say anything anymore. Saying a characters eyes are "blue like the ocean" will generally just make your reader roll theirs. Then suddenly all hell will break loose.

I hope these tips help, but first a reminder: writing rules are, to quote the inimitable Captain Barbosa, more actual guidelines. It is important to know the "rules," and follow them probably the vast majority of the time. That is how you make your writing professional. But to make your writing personal--to make it memorable to your readers--add your own style and flavor. Be you. And if that means tweaking a few of these rules every once in a while, then try it out. See if it works.

Write on!

Sarah Allen

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SUBMISSION OPPORTUNITIES:

• Madcap Review: Madcap Review, a semiannual online journal of art and literature, will be accepting submissions for its second issue from September 1st to October 31st.
• Allegro Poetry Magazine: Allegro Poetry Magazine seeks to publish the best contemporary poetry. Issue 1 will be published at the beginning of October and the editor is looking for poems on the theme “New”. Due Oct. 31.
• The Great American Lit Mag: Online literary magazine Inaugural Issue! The Great American Lit Mag is looking for fearless and inventive fiction and poetry. We publish quarterly. Due Sep. 30.
• Howl Magazine: Howl, edited by Deltona High School students, is currently seeking submissions of poetry, fiction, nonfiction, and art for our brand new online literary magazine. Please feel free to send up to five poems or art and no more than one piece of prose at a time. Year-round.
• Lunch Ticket Magazine: Literary magazine Lunch Ticket (Antioch University) is accepting submissions for its Winter/Spring 2015 issue. Submissions welcome in the following genres: fiction, nonfiction, poetry, writing for young people, visual art, and translation. Due Oct. 31.

SPOTLIGHTS:

• Working for Free: When it Makes Sense (The Write Life)
• 5 Tips How to Write and Sell a Picture Book (The Plot Whisperer)
• How Can You Stand Out on Social Media (Social Media Today)
• The Secret to Publishing Success in the Era of Social Media (Anne R. Allen)
• 34 Blogging Topics Just for Writers (Social Media Just for Writers)

The Most Important Thing For Your First Paragraph

One of the most interesting (and terrifying) parts of the recent Las Vegas Writers Conference was a panel they did during Friday lunch. Before the conference, attendees could send in an anonymous first page to be read during the panel. The agents would listen and then raise their hand at the point where they would stop reading. Then they would give feedback.

You can see how this would be invaluable.

Of course I submitted a first page, and it went over decently well. Only half the agents raised their hands, which is good, and the other half all raised their hands at the exact same spot. Which, of course, meant I really, really needed to take a close look at that spot.

That spot was a descriptive paragraph.

It wasn't just a descriptive paragraph, though. It was a descriptive paragraph after a descriptive paragraph. The agents said the writing and characterization was good, but there was too much description and not enough action. I went back and trimmed and rearranged, and I do think that feedback made the opening passages much better.

As I listened to some of the other entries, and saw which pages made all the agents raise their hands, and which kept all their attention, I noticed a few things. Often when I thought the writing was a little poor, the agents kept their hands down. When I thought something was weird, they kept their hands down.

Here's the key--the most important lesson I took from this panel. In your very first paragraph, a character must be doing something. 

The stories that kept the agents reading had action. Sometimes it was all action, and very little characterization, and the agents commented on that and said it needed work, but that they would read a little more. They told almost everyone to pair down the overwriting and focus on the action. There were even stories with as much description as mine, but it was more evenly spaced out and involved action.

To borrow terminology from Writing Excuses, one of my all-time favorite podcasts, your first paragraph--even your first sentence--does best when it features a protagonist who protags.

Right, now write!

Sarah Allen

6 Tricks to Make Your Sentences Shine (Part 2)

On Monday we talked about ways to polish up and beautify your sentences and we're going to continue that discussion today. I got these tips and ideas from the recent Las Vegas Writers Conference, and I'll give my caveat again: I'm sharing this advice because I personally found it helpful, but take what works for you and don't mess yourself up.

These tips focus mostly on our use of verbs. In many ways verbs are the most important part of our sentences, and these tips can hopefully help us jazz up our writing and make it more interesting.

4. Use stronger verbs. This is an oldie but a goodie. I'm sure we've all heard this before, but its important enough that I thought it bared repeating. It's simple and subtle but very effective. So:

Henry hit the table with his fist and walked out of the room.

becomes

Henry bashed the table with his fist and trudged out of the room.

With stronger verbs, we can more easily see the way Henry exited the room. And that's our goal, to put images in our readers minds.

5. Use linking verbs with caution. Here is a list of linking verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been. Also add to that had and has. Obviously we're going to need to make fairly frequent use of these verbs; I'm not saying we have to avoid them all together. They are simply an integral part of the English language. However, when we can find a way to avoid them, it's one of the most effective ways to spice up our sentences. So:

The old, gray house was known to be abandoned, and a habitat for bats and raccoons and maybe something more sinister.

becomes

We often heard the squeaks of bats and raccoons coming from the abandoned house on the corner, and occasionally noticed an unidentifiable moaning more sinister than creaky floor boards.

This is also a quick way to bring our sentences from passive to active voice.

6. Avoid "Thinking" verbs. These are some of the verbs the workshop leader called "thinking" verbs: think, know, believe, want, desire, understand, realize, remembers, imagines, feel. Again, this is not to say we can never use these verbs. They are simple and common, which is why they are so often used, and also why we should be judicious ourselves in using them. Changing things up when we can will elevate our writing to something more beautiful. So:

I could feel the adrenaline dissipate, leaving exhaustion in its wake.

becomes

The adrenaline dissipated, leaving me too exhausted to do anything but collapse next to the fridge.

Again, this trick adds action and focus to the sentence, making it more attention-grabbing for the reader. 

Like I said, these tricks are not the be all and end all and should be used judiciously. Like pepper on a stake. Cook the way the works for you, but know that these spices are available to add flavor. 

The key here is to dig deep and see why these suggestions can be helpful in the first place. I believe it is because using these strategies tends to bring in more character and more action. They help you bring a person into your sentence and make them do something. And that is a very good thing. I'm working on these things as much as anybody, which is why the conference was so helpful for me. So keep character and action in mind, even when not using these particular little tricks, and your writing really will shine.

Any other tricks I should add to this list? Do you have tips for making your sentences work better?

Sarah Allen

6 Tricks to Make Your Sentences Shine (Part 1)

I told you I was going to give you some of the best advice I learned at the recent Las Vegas Writer's Conference. Here we go.

I went to two or three sessions dedicated specifically to helping us writers make our sentences more prettier. A lot of what they said is simple and practical and incredibly helpful.

A caveat first. This is the caveat that one of the workshop presenters gave, and I liked it a lot. He said that in giving this advice, there are three possible responses. You can read this advice and think, that's brilliant I'm totally going to use that! You can read it and think, this is all a load of crap, not helpful at all. Or you can read it and think, I like this, but I think I want to tweak it and use it this way that will work better for me. All of those answers are correct. Obviously I think this advice is helpful and good, or I wouldn't be sharing it, but if it messes you up or if you want to just use some of it or whatever, that is your prerogative. Take what you can use. This goes for basically any writing advice you read out there.

Okay. Enough of that. Here are the simple tricks I learned at the Writers Conference that can help make your sentences shine.

1. Build toward power. In your sentences, lead up to the big knock-out punch. Figure out which word is the power word in your sentence and put it at the end. For example:

Death has always been my biggest fear.

becomes

My biggest fear has always been death.

In this sentence, Death is the power word, and so you rearrange to put that power punch at the end. This keeps the flow, and your reader, moving forward.

2. Preposition Trick. Okay. Big grain of salt on this one. When the workshop teacher first gave us this rule, my immediate thought was dismissive. I thought, no way, that's too contrived. But after giving it more thought, I think this can actually, if used sparingly, be very helpful.

The trick is this: if you're worried your sentences are starting to sound like See Spot Run, then you can beautify and complexify them by starting your sentence with a preposition. Like I said, I think this can be very easily overdone, but I feel like I have the overly-simple problem, and so I've been seeing if I can find places where this can actually help. For example:

They ate pizza when they got home from soccer practice

becomes

By the time they got home from soccer practice a large pizza sat steaming on the table.

Again, be VERY careful with this rule, and in fact you may have the opposite problem of starting too many of your sentences with prepositions, in which case you can do the inverse to help. But if you want to add a little maturity to your writing, a sprinkle here and there of preposition can add a little summ'n summ'n.

3. Don't make laundry lists. This one is pretty simple. When we're describing something it's often tempting to just give a laundry list of adjectives. But that strategy is lazy and uninteresting. So:

Dan had large hands, hazzle-flecked eyes, and a cowlick in the middle of his forehead.

becomes

In one large hand Dan swung his baseball bat back and forth while he tried to slick down the wanton cowlick with the other.

Even if your laundry list is interesting, taking it out of laundry list format can help add action (i.e. interest) to your sentences.

Since this is already going on for so long, I'm breaking this into two parts. Come back on Wednesday for part 2!

Sarah Allen

Addition, subtraction, and editing a novel

See, we writers do math too. Sort of. Some of us (not me) much better than others.

Anyway, I've recently begun edits on Keeper, novel #1. It's coming along pretty well. I'm getting dangerously close to the point where I'm ready to shove it into someone else's hands and be done with it, but not yet. I've come to accept the fact that it's not going to be anywhere near perfect, that there's no such thing as perfect, and that I'm going to need lots of other people's help to make this thing as good as it can possibly be.

With that, there are some things to keep in mind while editing, and for my own sake I thought pulling them all together would be helpful. And so, here is some attempted mathematics of editing a novel.

Addition:

-Use of the 5 senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. I've heard that smell is particularly powerful.
-Active, exciting, unique verbs that say enough on there own. 'Pelted' or 'barreled' instead of 'ran fast'.
-Higher and higher stakes. What's the worst that can happen? Then make it so (number one).
-Internal conflict. Personal stakes are the highest stakes.
-Flaws. Nobody's perfect, including your characters.

Subtraction:

-Adverbs and unnecessary adjectives. Basically any unnecessary words.
-Grammatical errors and overuse of !, ..., and whatever your habit words happen to be. (Mine are 'just' and 'even').
-Unnecessary back-story and/or exposition
-Cliches, and any phrases you got from somewhere else
-Melodrama and gratuitous cussing.

Ok, I think this is a fairly good list, I need to keep it in mind as I go. What else would you put on the addition/subtraction of editing list? I for one could use all the advice I can get.

Sarah Allen

Personal Editing List

[This is a re-blog of a post I did back in 2010]

Every writer has their own unique method, style, and voice, and with this comes unique issues. There are certain quirks, turns of phrase, and specific cliches that they tend towards in their writing. Recognizing these is the first step in avoiding them. It can be hard to figure out what they are, but having others read your writing is one way. Be humble and willing to accept feedback and apply it according as you see fit.

My suggestion is to make a list of your own personal writing cliches, make a "personal editing list", and keep it up by your writing area. If you know that you have certain bad habits, you can consciously keep from falling into them.

Here are some things from my own personal editing list. Some of them are specific, sentence level things, and some have to do with the overall, general idea.

-Struggle vs. slump: I have the bad habit of setting my characters in emotionally hard situations that they can't really do much about except passively accept it and try to be happy despite the problem. This can turn into simple "portrait of a saint" (as my creative writing professor called them) stories, which may show kind, generous characters, but they are passive and not interesting as characters. Every story needs active, immediate and relatable conflict, and this is something I have to consciously remember as I come up with my story ideas.

-Words that don't do enough: I have a list of words that I have a habit of overusing, which don't do as much as I want them too. Some of those words are smiled, laughed, sighed, cried and looked. Words like this are so generic that they don't really show whats going on. Its not that they're absolutely forbidden, but in general, for them to be effective they need context.

-A story isn't poignant/meaningful/significant just because its about infidelity/abandonment/abuse. These things are poignant and important, of course, but they are often such huge topics that they overwhelm the piece. An incredibly meaningful, successful piece can be about things as simple as sister jealousy, unmet expectations, or just the small things that make meaning in our every day life. I have a habit of picking topics like infidelity just because I assume that if its about something significant like that, the piece itself will be significant. That is not necessarily the case, and remembering that helps me steer away from sentimentalism.

What are your bad writing habits, and what are some good ways for getting over them?

Sarah Allen

Vertical Movement and the Pyramid of Abstraction

How many of you have heard of the Pyramid of Abstraction?

To me, this provides a great mental image of good writing. The base of your writing, the support, the majority, is specific, concrete detail. That's where the real connection happens, the true understanding.

Once you have these details, though, then something more needs to happen, something I call vertical movement, because in a way it is movement up the pyramid. You don't even need to get into abstractions, but somehow things need to be tied together in a way that gives the piece a connection to something more universal, or larger than itself. I'm going to use poetry as an example, but I think this applies to all kinds of writing.

A Spiral Notebook
by Ted Kooser

The bright wire rolls like a porpoise
in and out of the calm blue sea
of the cover, or perhaps like a sleeper
twisting in and out of his dreams,
for it could hold a record of dreams
if you wanted to buy it for that
though it seems to be meant for
more serious work, with its
college-ruled lines and its cover
that states in emphatic white letters,
5 SUBJECT NOTEBOOK. It seems
a part of growing old is no longer
to have five subjects, each
demanding an equal share of attention,
set apart by brown cardboard dividers,
but instead to stand in a drugstore
and hang on to one subject
a little too long, like this notebook
you weigh in your hands, passing
your fingers over its surfaces
as if it were some kind of wonder.

Amazing, beautiful detail. I love all the metaphors with the spiral wire. That is the biggest part of this piece. But do you see where it goes vertical? I would say its the lines "but instead to stand in a drugstore and hang on to one subject a little too long." It starts talking about something much, much more than just a spiral bound notebook, even though that's what its technically talking about. But it becomes more symbolic, more universal. Slightly more abstract, but you'll notice he's still using concrete, specific language.

Next example.

Break of Day
by Galway Kinnel

He turns the light on, lights
the cigarette, goes out on the porch,
chainsaws a block of green wood down the grain,
chucks the pieces into the box stove,
pours in kerosene, tosses in the match
he has set fire to the next cigarette with,
stands back while the creosote-lined, sheet-
metal rust-lengths shudder but just barely
manage to direct the cawhoosh in the stove—
which sucks in ash motes through gaps
at the bottom and glares out fire blaze
through overburn-cracks at the top—
all the way to the roof and up out through into
the still starry sky starting to lighten,
sits down to a bowl of crackers and bluish milk
in which reflections of a 40-watt ceiling bulb
appear and disappear, eats, contemplates
an atmosphere containing kerosene stink,
chainsaw smoke, chainsmoke, wood smoke, wood heat,
gleams of the 40-watt ceiling bulb bobbing in blue milk.

Again, amazing detail. This one is a little trickier to find where it goes vertical, but I would say its the line "appear and disappear, eats, contemplates an atmosphere containing kerosene stink, etc...". That is where it starts meaning more than its actually saying. Its not just describing things anymore, it mentions so subtly the way this man feels about all the things its just described, and it doesn't even go into how the man feels about his life of all these things because we've already gotten such a strong sensation of our own from all the concrete details that it doesn't need to. If he started saying, "the man was disenchanted with the kerosene stink..." that would be a gross oversimplification. Maybe that's it, but maybe it's comfortable, or it's exciting, or its whatever. Its could be any or all of them, and that's the point. Vertical expands the poem to mean more than its actually saying, but it still lets the reader find much of their own meaning.

What do you think? I hope I'm making sense here. It's ironic trying to describe an abstract principle of not being abstract. To me, though, this is one of the key principles that once people get, it takes their writing a gigantic leap forward. Then its a matter of figuring out how to do this and do it effectively, which is a much more painstaking, never ending process. If you start with that strong, concrete base, and just keep going, the vertical almost takes care of itself. You'll find the places where its starting to mean more, and you can go from there. Then you'll have something that just blows peoples minds.

Sarah Allen

3 Tips to Avoid Cliche

We all know cliche is our enemy. It dulls our voice and makes us seem amateurish. But what are the specific tools we can use to fight it? Here are three I've come up with:

1-No Stealing. Never use a phrase or metaphor that you've seen or heard somewhere before. That keeps you from being genuine. Get at the heart of the metaphor and put it in a way that's truthful to you. Get specific. Details, details details, and ones from YOU and not anyone else.

2-Be Careful with "Dead" Words. Cliche goes beyond phrases and metaphors. There are single words that are used so often that they lose any real meaning. Words like smile, sigh, tear, laugh, beautiful. In fact, making a list is a good idea. These words aren't necessarily forbidden, they should just be used cautiously, and put in a context that will give back some real meaning to the word. What other "dead" words can you think of?

3-Be Observant. To really describe a faucet dripping, watch one drip. Other writers have their own way of describing a thing, but figure out your own way. See and smell and touch and hear for yourself, and pay attention. Then you have real life experience, and an understanding beyond the words someone else used to describe something.

What do you think? What else can we do to avoid cliche?

Sarah Allen