So a lot of these things you just can't know. You can't see yourself from the outside, which I think is probably a blessing for most of us. We all probably have way more neurosis than we think we do, but I also think its more okay than we think it is. It would probably surprise us, though it shouldn't, how quirky and messed up everybody else is too.
I think there is one thing I would like to try, though. We can't compare brains, but maybe we can sort of compare experiences. I don't mean compare in a vertical sense, as in one type of experience is better than another. I actually have quite the vendetta against that line of thinking: one persons struggles and joys and obsessions and heartbreaks and traumas are just as intense and valid as anybody else's. But they are wide in variety and type. While everybody's day equals one day, nobody experiences the same things in that day or even experiences the same thing in the same way.
So. When you were my age, twenty-three, who and where were you? Where did you live? Where did you work? Where was your family? What was your relationship status? Who were your friends? And if you are younger than I am, who and where are you now, for me to gauge my younger self.
As much as I am trying to deny it, I suppose I am in a sense seeking validation by asking this question. I want to make sure I'm not behind the norm, make sure I'm doing okay and am on the right path, make sure I'm not doing something I shouldn't. On the other hand, though, I don't think there is a "norm." We're all different, and that's as it should be. Regardless, I still think its an interesting exercise.
Sarah Allen
8 comments:
A much wiser person than me once said, "Be exactly where you are. If you're anywhere else, you'll miss something important." I'm paraphrasing, but the point is still there, I think. :-)
Thinking... way back....
Okay, I just moved into my first flat with my fiancé (now Hubby) and our friend. I was working part-time in a college library and obviously I was writing a lot. I bought my wedding dress, because I was getting married the year after, and I was playing a lot of badminton with my sister because we thought it would help us keep fit - but actually we just spent an awful lot of time chatting at the net. I was having a lot less fun than I'm having in my 30s!!
I wonder the same thing! I've always wanted to understand why unhappy people are so grumpy, and vice versa. Right now, I'm just a sixteen year old wishing she wasn't in school, and realizing she really needs to study for her permit test. ;)
That was just last year for me. I was living in VA with roommates (still am), working for an IT company (still am), working on an MA in writing (still am). My young man had just moved back to Chicago for school, so I was once again in a long-distance relationship (and still am).
At the time, I hadn't really made any friends in the area, but now I have a few.
So that would be my first year of living away in a state far from my family, first real relationship, grad school and first job post-college.
When I was 23 I was a soldier in Texas, working on the side as a bartender. My family lived in New Jersey. I was single.
I would not mind at all temperarily being someone else for the perspective of it.
This was a nice, thought provoking post Sarah, I enjoyed reading it.
When I was 23, I was working full-time for an insurance company processing medical claims and part-time as an after-school care attendant. I had just ended a long-term relationship that was physically and emotionally abusive, was living on my own for the first time, and I just felt really, really raw.
But even though I was scared to death, I was proud for ending my relationship and finally taking care of myself.
I was in graduate school for theatrical design and technology. I was great friends with one of my profs who later became my husband. I was also writing plays and a few produced. I climbed really high ladders and went backpacking. I lived by myself in an apartment - someone tried to break in one night - very scary.
Um, let's see. I was married, living in the L.A. area, courtesy of Uncle Sam (my hubby was active duty Air Force). I had a infant son and I'd stopped working to be a full time mom. My friends were mostly other young moms in the neighborhood and since no one had family out there (everyone was a transplant from somewhere else), we all just helped each other.
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